What I'm Thankful For

As Thanksgiving approaches I'm compelled to do something I don't do near enough; give thanks! I have a lot to be thankful for and this will only be a partial list. If I was to include everything I've been blessed with in my life I would overload the internet.

1. God. He did not have to create me but He did. He did not save me but He did. He did not have to bless me but He does. After choosing to create me He chose to sacrifice His own Son for me so I can be with Him for eternity. For this I am truly eternally thankful.

2. Karina Tinsley. My wife is a rare gift and she is hard to explain.  There is truly no one like her anywhere. She's funny and snarky, she's an amazing cook, she thinks of the little things like a fresh towel every morning and a snack with my favorite TV shows. These things are great and I do love them about her but they are not why I love her. To understand why I love her, you'd have to know her. Karina is an incredibly special woman who seeks Christ and seeks to point others to Him. I love my bride!

My beautiful wife!

3. My Kids. I live in a loud house filled with giggles, princesses, tea parties, pillow fights and occasionally real fights. Someday I'll live in a quiet and restful house with time to curl up with a good book. I dread that day. I'm so thankful for daddy snuggles, daddy dates, pillow fights for candy and pig piles on daddy. Each kid is special in their special way.

It's a daddy horse

Saphyre - My first born is now a tween but she's still my baby girl. I'm not as cool as I once was but I think she still likes her daddy time. Every Sunday night we share a long drive just the two of us and when all goes right I get to hear her heart. I love those drives and I love watching my baby grow up.

Saphyre on a daddy date

Olivia - Olivia is fabulous! At 6 years old Olivia is as fashion savvy as anyone. She loves to play dress up but only if everyone involved acknowledges that it's just pretend. She is one of the most colorful people I've ever met yet she lives in a black and white world. She loves rules (especially if they apply to others) and even homework. Her favorite daddy dates are going out for ice cream and I have to say they are my favorites as well.

Princess Olivia and her ice cream

Abby - Abby is a force to be reckoned with. Her emotions are out there for all to see. She lives life to the fullest and with no fear. She cherishes her role as the middle child, looking up to her big sisters and taking care of her little brother and sister. Her smile can brighten any room and her giant tears trigger a flood warning. Abby is one of a kind and she is her daddy's girl.

Beautiful Abby

Chaucer - My boy, my only boy. Chaucer is my best bud and my pride and joy. He loves to play ball and snuggle and is the first to run up to me when I get home. He can never wait to play ball and wrestle and he loves to wear his brown leather jacket just like daddy. I've always wanted a son and I could not ask for a better one.

My boy

Tessa - My baby, my last child. I've only know her for 3 months but she has a firm grasp on my heart. Her cry is the saddest sound I've every heard while her baby giggles fill me with warmth and wonder. Her beautiful full head of hair and adorable little nose are some of my favorite features. I can't wait to get to know her personality.

Happy baby

4. Family. In addition to the amazing family I just mentioned, God has given me so much more. My kids have the most amazing Aunt and Uncle ever. Neither Jordan or Alicia are related by blood but they are the closest family I have. Our bind is in Christ and His blood nit DNA. No one loves my kids like they do and my kids love no one more than them. The are one of the greatest gifts I've ever received and I love them both dearly.

5. Sylvia and Sarah. These 2 girls have a special place in my life and my heart. I'm not sure if I feel more of a fatherly or brotherly love for them but I know I love them and will protect them just like they are my own. Sylvia Soup Saturday's are the best days! It's like having a child come home from college. Sylvia is wise beyond her years and works hard to surround herself with wise and godly people to help her grow. Her thirst for Christ is unmatched in people her age. Sarah is simply put one of the funniest people I have ever met. At 15, she is everything you'd expect from a kid her age but coupled with a love for Christ and her friends. These girls are truly part of our family and again I can only thank Jesus for that.



6. The Geddi. A few years ago one the men in my church was laid off and since our daughters were friends we decided to reach out to them and have them over for BBQ. Over the past few years it's been me who has been the one who has been blessed. The Geddis' are the faithful friends who stand by your side through thick and thin. It's been a great privilege to watch their kids grow physically and spiritually. Seeing them move quiet kids who rarely engaged to kids who love Jesus and share their thoughts and emotions. Yet again, though we share no DNA we are truly family in every sense of the word.

7. Mars Hill Church. I love that my church is full of sinners. I love that my pastors make the wrong call sometimes. I love that Pastor Mark is a lightning rod for controversy and I love that sometimes it's deserved. I don't attend Pastor Mark's church, I attend Jesus' church. Pastor Mark is the fallible man who preaches. That's what I love! It's not about Mark, it can't be. He's a Coug for crying out loud! Throughout history God has uses fallible men to make much of Himself. What I love about Pastor Mark is that he regularly mentions how unable he is to do what he does. He constantly points to God when things go right and to himself when things go wrong. I thankful to be in a church where my local (Mars Hill Shoreline) leaders set time aside to fast and pray for us. I'm glad I'm not in a "perfect" church. I'm thankful to be in a real church that loves and serves the real God.

8. Food. I love food! There are many reasons I love food, it tastes good, it's fun and it's a rallying point for community. God did not have to design us to need food but He did and He didn't have to make it taste so good but He did. I love bacon, brownies, pasta, garlic, shrimp, Joyce Chester's lasagna, The Red Onion, Melt Waffle and just about anything on diners, drive-ins and dives.

Karina's Famous Beef Stew in a Pumpkin

9. Walt Disney. Walt was a man who had many issues and he was far from a hero but he did a lot to make the world a better place. Walt created Disneyland because he wanted a place dads could take their kids and interact with them. For that I am extremely thankful.

10. Disneyland. As I mentioned in a previous blog my family gets to go to Disneyland often and we are blessed to be able to stay in a palatial hotel room at the Disney Grand California. Our trips our about the memories that last forever. We get to bring Jordan and Alicia with us and hang out as one big (sometimes) happy family. Every once in while one of us (no names, Alicia) has a no picture day but it's still always a blast. This is a HUGE privilege that we are able to do this and I pray I never take it for granted.



Christmas as Disneyland

Alicia looking at the park from our room

Jordan and Alicia

If you can't pull it out just eat it

11. Being Unemployed for 7 months. This year started on what at the time seemed like the wrong foot. In February we found out that Tessa was on the way and I lost my job. What I learned was, I'm incredibly loved and God is faithful. While it was frustrating to search for work to no avail I did get the chance to serve at my church full time. I learned a ton of new skills, some of which led to the position I have now. I got to work with the greatest group of people I've ever worked with and built some amazing relationships. This has been a year than I am extremely thankful for.



Why I Don't Support the Occupy Movement

One of the biggest things in the media right now is the occupy movement. Their protests have dominated the headlines for weeks and their muddled message is all about American privilege. My problem is that the guys littering, polluting the environment, sexually assaulting women and blocking hard workings Americans who are just trying to get home from a hard day's work, are the 1%.

As tweet from their iPhones about their silly little gatherings and whine about the lack of jobs they all have access to services a good portion of the rest of the world would give anything for. In Africa, people walk miles for disease infested water, During these walks women face rape and battery. Or how about the over 3 billion people around the world who live on less that $2.50 a day. What of the millions dying of avoidable diseases like malaria, tuberculosis, smallpox and the like?

If you live in America, you are the 1%! The homeless shelters would seem palatial to many around the world, the local soup kitchen would be a feast for the ages, and a free education to top it off. Here's my advice to the American whiners, take a shower, use the creativity you've used to protest to market you skills, stop harassing the people who might offer you a job and go to work. In the beginning you are going to have to work hard to prove yourself but with hard work you'll be amazed how much extra money you have to help the 99%.

One great way to help the real 99% is to donate to charitywater.org. 100% of every penny given goes straight to the field. (All of their operating costs are covered by corporate contribution) To the best of my knowledge no one at Charity Water even knows I exist and they certainly to not endorse this blog and in fact they may outright disagree.

Disneyland an Essay

While talking with my 11 year old Daughter this Sunday I decided she needed a bit more homework than her school has been giving her. For the record, she did not agree. I asked her to write me a 5 paragraph paper about Disneyland and what she likes about it. It took some discussion but eventually she accepted the assignment and wrote a great paper. My wife suggested that the entire family do this project as well and I'm not gonna mess with her so here is my paper on Disneyland.

When we go to Disneyland, we drive! It's partly about the money because my family is huge and cost of flying rivals the GDP of a small nation. It's more about fun though. I love time in the car with my family, there are always laughs (usually at me) and it's a beautiful drive. Inside jokes are born on trips like this. There are only a select group of people who know about the Urine killer, Mark Bergin helping Johnny Cash with his flooded basement or what I would do if pulled over in Oregon. They are are great stories and they are our stories and we wouldn't have them if not for the drive.

Excited that Daddy is FINALLY going to make a bathroom stop.

Chaucer's sitting next to Auntie Alicia on his first trip to Disneyland

Karina is excited... I think.

I love the joy I get to see on the faces of my family. At Disneyland you truly do "leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy.” I suppose a picture is worth a thousand words so I'll shut up and let the pictures speak for themselves.

Pretty Abby on a Seahorse at Disney California Adventure.

Abby on her 4th birthday getting ready to head to the park.

A birthday princess lunch.

Beautiful Olivia.



King Triton's Carousel

Saphyre & Olivia with Auntie Alicia on the Tea Cups.

Family

 

 

I also love our hotel. The Disney Grand California and the Disney Vacation Club go out of their way to us feel at home. From the greeting of, "Welcome home!" to the TV in the bathroom mirror to the amazing views and the pool table in the room. It's an amazing place to stay.



Olivia enjoying the view from our room.

 The sights and sounds are unbeatable as well. Nobody puts on a show like Disney. I love that they think of everything and make it perfect every time. When Pirates first opened Walt Disney thought it was missing something so he rode it with a cast member from the Bayou and asked him what it needed. Fireflies were the first thing he noticed missing. So what did Walt do? He had live fireflies brought in until the Imagineers could create fake ones.

There is a lot more I could mention but I think you get the drift.

I Don't Trust God!

As the title of this blog says, I don't trust God. I like to say I do, but my actions and thoughts would prove otherwise. I don't trust that He wants what's best for me or that He will take care of me and my family. He always has but for some reason my heart does not trust. Just as the Philippians sent Paul gifts and helpers (Philippians 4:10-20), many people have blessed my family and helped us greatly. Yet, I stress out, lose sleep and physically make myself sick with worry. Why? Why, don't I trust the One who is and always has been faithful?

In Isaiah 41:10 we read:

fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This seems like a great verse, even taken out of context but the context makes it even more beautiful. Isaiah was writing to the exiled Jews help in captivity in Babylon. He was telling them that God is enough! I’m not in captivity! I live in the most free nation in the history of the world. So again, why don’t I trust Him?

I've been unemployed for over 5 months and have yet to miss a single meal or experience any need, even by spoiled American standers. I've gone from making about $1,000 a week to receiving an unemployment check for $460 a week. My wife is pregnant with our 5th child and gas prices are starting to look more like telephone numbers. Yet, in all this I have had no need. We have been blessed by a great many people in many ways. Our friends have given us literally thousands of dollars to keep our bills paid and one friend recently paid to replace the breaks on our van. I'm still losing sleep on an ever increasing basis.

The job market is overcrowded with people far more experienced that I am, who are willing and/or able to work for far less than I am. I've had no luck finding anything that would even pay what I make on unemployment, let alone enough to support a family of 7. Every month I worry more and more and find new things to worry about. What will happen when our daughter is born next month? What if we lose our house? Would we lose custody of my oldest daughter? Would we end up homeless? Would our family have to split up and go live with various friends? I, not God, I need to know. It sounds dumb to say and certainly looks crazy written here, but it's the lie I believe.

David talks so beautifully about his stress in Psalm 61, "You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy." Peter also gives great advice to pastors (though I think it applies to all of us) in 1 Peter 5:6-7, " Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." This is the key to my sin! HUMBLE yourselves!!! I don't trust God because I'm arrogant and think I need to know what's going on and be in control of it. I don't trust God because I think I'm god.

The truth is, no matter what happens with my job situation or my life, Christ is enough. He is all I truly need and He has provided greatly for me. He has given me many earthly blessings but those are not what I'm referring to. He has done so much more, He's called me, He's paid the price for my sin, He's met every temporal and eternal need I have ever had. I'm a fool for not trusting Him. This has just been a honest look at where I'm at and how I'm feeling. It's been a bit rambling but so are my thoughts. My sin is knowing the truth and exchanging it for lie. If you're a Christian reading this, please pray that I would get over myself and focus on Christ and put my faith where it belongs.

Real Family vs Blood Family

What is family? Jesus asked this question and He gave us the answer. Matthew 12:46-50 Jesus shows us His view on family.

 [46]While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. [48 ] But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” [49 ] And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! [50 ] For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (ESV)

Jesus however also looked out for His blood family. One of His final acts as recorded in John 19:26-27 was to look out for His mother even as He was dying on the cross. Yet even in this He did not follow the line of blood vs bond. It was not one of His brothers He assigned to look after His mother, it was His best friend. John loved Jesus and worshiped Him as God! It was this man to which he said, "Behold, your mother!". It was John who then took Mary into his home.

Many Christians refer to their church family and their real family, I refer to my blood (birth) family and my real (church) family. I just don't see that shared ancestors make a family. I'm far concerned with who I will be a million years from now. Those of us who love Jesus share an indestructible bond forged my the blood of Christ. These people are my real family because they are the family I will be with for eternity.

I don't have any blood brothers or sisters yet I consider Jordan a brother who is a friend more than I consider him a friend who is a brother. It may seem to be semantics but it's not. He is my brother not because DNA says so but because the blood of Jesus says so. The same if true with our "friend" Alicia. She is my wife's friend but she is first her sister. When Karina speaks of her she speaks not of a dear friend that would be too low a title. She speaks of her beloved sister. This is our family! These are the ones we love.

It is Alicia who accompanies us on vacation every year. Many people wrongly think she comes with us an a nanny or something. No! She is an auntie who loves her nephew and nieces and who we love dearly. She is a gift from God to our family and as much a sister to Karina as her blood sister is. That is the glorious thing in what God has given us, our family in Him is not in place of but in addition to our blood family. Though in same cases we have chosen to remove certain members of our blood family for various reasons.

As I said earlier, this is no way means we exclude our blood family. I have a sister-in-law that I love dearly and enjoy seeing, I have an aunt and uncle (who also happen to love Jesus) that have been a huge blessing in my life, my wife has a grandfather who I am thankful for beyond words. Larry (Karina's grandfather) is exactly what you might think of when you think of grandpa. He and his wife live on nice seized property with animals for the kids to play with and he takes them on hay rides and shows them the coolest of things. He served his country in Vietnam and was a police officer with the SPD. He is just a cool guy.

My wife's mother and grandmother on the other hand have nothing to do with us and they never will. They are dangerous people, and we will not allow them around our children. They have worked hard to destroy the lives of their children and they would love to do the same to our kids. They are predators who pose physical, mental and spiritual danger to our family. I also have family members we simply do not associate with because. Was it hard to get rid of them? No, because we weren't getting rid of family we were taking out the trash. We still have plenty of family. God has given us a family in Him that is so much deeper than blood could ever run.

Let me be abundantly clear, blood family is great! Ignoring them and just spending time with Christians is a horrible evil and not at all compatible with Scripture. We are called to love and invest in both. I am simply giving God glory for the blessings He has poured on us in Christ, that we may have family that will last for eternity.

A Fatherless Boy

My least favorite day of the year was always Father's Day. I didn't have a Dad and at my private school we always had to make Father's Day cards. All the other kids had a Dad, most even at home. I didn't have one at all. I had no Dad, no Step-Dad, hell I didn't even have a local uncle until I was 10! When my Aunt married my uncle Renus I finally had a guy to take me to ball games and let me try to hold a motorcycle up by myself but still not a daddy.

I was raised by a well intentioned bipolar single mom who worshiped her little. I was spoiled rotten and had no respect for her or anyone. I was coddled and "protected" from everything so in short what I'm saying is I was a little wuss, a girly boy. I learned how to fight (and run) by getting my ass kicked, I taught myself how to throw a ball, swim and ride a bike. I lacked that male role model in my life to teach me these things but this was normal to me so I never knew.

In the 5th grade I had my first male teacher and he was a great role model he was the guy that taught me to love reading. (To this day he is still my favorite teacher) In addition to this teacher there were a few other men sprinkled throughout my childhood who impacted me in some way but I don't know that any showed me what I means to me a man. I was never a part of a big brothers program or anything and never had any formal mentors.

It wasn't until I was a 15 or 16 and leading a youth group in my apartment complex with my friend Carter that someone finally came around who taught me what it means to be a man. I met a pastor who was getting ready to plant a church and had a passion for training young men. This guy took me under his wing and he did teach me a few trivial (stereotypical) things about being a man and he did take me to at least one baseball game but he also taught me about being a real man. He taught me about loving Jesus and studying Scripture. He told me that I do have a Daddy and taught me to view God as my Father. He spent countless hours discipling me, teaching me Scripture and letting me tag along with him like a little brother or a son going to work with dad. One of the best memories I have was the day this guy let me come on his radio show with him and his co-host.

That Pastor made a huge difference in my life because he loved Jesus and shared that love with me. He understood God as Daddy and taught that lesson, he was not my role model and never wanted to be. He taught me that the best role model I can have is my Heavenly Father. He always pointed me back to Scripture and brought everything back to Daddy God. I'm incredibly thankful to God for giving me someone to introduce me to my Daddy.

I'm a daddy now with four amazing kids. I have three beautiful daughters (and guns to protect them with) and a little boy of my own. I was terrified when my oldest daughter was born I was only 22 and had never been around a baby now I was responsible to keep one alive. Each daughter brought a new set of fears but I got pretty good at knowing how to deal with little girls then my wife got pregnant with our son. I was excited and scared to death!

What is a fatherless boy supposed to do with a boy of his own? Do we start PT in the delivery room? Do I need to get football coaches to come by the hospital and size him up? When do I teach him how to hawk a loogie? My daughters each got a stuffed animal as their first gift, should I get him a bat or a shot gun? I decided to buy him a Bible and just a kids Bible. I bought my baby boy a regular Bible that he can use as an adult and I wrote in the front for him telling him that his earthly father loves him very much but that his real Daddy loves him even more.

I still have never met my earthly father and since he doesn't know I even conceived let alone born I'm sure I never will. I'm still learning about my Heavenly Father and now as a daddy I get to teach me kids about their true Daddy. I may not have dad but I also am not A Fatherless Daddy.