A Fatherless Boy

My least favorite day of the year was always Father's Day. I didn't have a Dad and at my private school we always had to make Father's Day cards. All the other kids had a Dad, most even at home. I didn't have one at all. I had no Dad, no Step-Dad, hell I didn't even have a local uncle until I was 10! When my Aunt married my uncle Renus I finally had a guy to take me to ball games and let me try to hold a motorcycle up by myself but still not a daddy.

I was raised by a well intentioned bipolar single mom who worshiped her little. I was spoiled rotten and had no respect for her or anyone. I was coddled and "protected" from everything so in short what I'm saying is I was a little wuss, a girly boy. I learned how to fight (and run) by getting my ass kicked, I taught myself how to throw a ball, swim and ride a bike. I lacked that male role model in my life to teach me these things but this was normal to me so I never knew.

In the 5th grade I had my first male teacher and he was a great role model he was the guy that taught me to love reading. (To this day he is still my favorite teacher) In addition to this teacher there were a few other men sprinkled throughout my childhood who impacted me in some way but I don't know that any showed me what I means to me a man. I was never a part of a big brothers program or anything and never had any formal mentors.

It wasn't until I was a 15 or 16 and leading a youth group in my apartment complex with my friend Carter that someone finally came around who taught me what it means to be a man. I met a pastor who was getting ready to plant a church and had a passion for training young men. This guy took me under his wing and he did teach me a few trivial (stereotypical) things about being a man and he did take me to at least one baseball game but he also taught me about being a real man. He taught me about loving Jesus and studying Scripture. He told me that I do have a Daddy and taught me to view God as my Father. He spent countless hours discipling me, teaching me Scripture and letting me tag along with him like a little brother or a son going to work with dad. One of the best memories I have was the day this guy let me come on his radio show with him and his co-host.

That Pastor made a huge difference in my life because he loved Jesus and shared that love with me. He understood God as Daddy and taught that lesson, he was not my role model and never wanted to be. He taught me that the best role model I can have is my Heavenly Father. He always pointed me back to Scripture and brought everything back to Daddy God. I'm incredibly thankful to God for giving me someone to introduce me to my Daddy.

I'm a daddy now with four amazing kids. I have three beautiful daughters (and guns to protect them with) and a little boy of my own. I was terrified when my oldest daughter was born I was only 22 and had never been around a baby now I was responsible to keep one alive. Each daughter brought a new set of fears but I got pretty good at knowing how to deal with little girls then my wife got pregnant with our son. I was excited and scared to death!

What is a fatherless boy supposed to do with a boy of his own? Do we start PT in the delivery room? Do I need to get football coaches to come by the hospital and size him up? When do I teach him how to hawk a loogie? My daughters each got a stuffed animal as their first gift, should I get him a bat or a shot gun? I decided to buy him a Bible and just a kids Bible. I bought my baby boy a regular Bible that he can use as an adult and I wrote in the front for him telling him that his earthly father loves him very much but that his real Daddy loves him even more.

I still have never met my earthly father and since he doesn't know I even conceived let alone born I'm sure I never will. I'm still learning about my Heavenly Father and now as a daddy I get to teach me kids about their true Daddy. I may not have dad but I also am not A Fatherless Daddy.