Real Family vs Blood Family

What is family? Jesus asked this question and He gave us the answer. Matthew 12:46-50 Jesus shows us His view on family.

 [46]While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. [48 ] But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” [49 ] And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! [50 ] For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (ESV)

Jesus however also looked out for His blood family. One of His final acts as recorded in John 19:26-27 was to look out for His mother even as He was dying on the cross. Yet even in this He did not follow the line of blood vs bond. It was not one of His brothers He assigned to look after His mother, it was His best friend. John loved Jesus and worshiped Him as God! It was this man to which he said, "Behold, your mother!". It was John who then took Mary into his home.

Many Christians refer to their church family and their real family, I refer to my blood (birth) family and my real (church) family. I just don't see that shared ancestors make a family. I'm far concerned with who I will be a million years from now. Those of us who love Jesus share an indestructible bond forged my the blood of Christ. These people are my real family because they are the family I will be with for eternity.

I don't have any blood brothers or sisters yet I consider Jordan a brother who is a friend more than I consider him a friend who is a brother. It may seem to be semantics but it's not. He is my brother not because DNA says so but because the blood of Jesus says so. The same if true with our "friend" Alicia. She is my wife's friend but she is first her sister. When Karina speaks of her she speaks not of a dear friend that would be too low a title. She speaks of her beloved sister. This is our family! These are the ones we love.

It is Alicia who accompanies us on vacation every year. Many people wrongly think she comes with us an a nanny or something. No! She is an auntie who loves her nephew and nieces and who we love dearly. She is a gift from God to our family and as much a sister to Karina as her blood sister is. That is the glorious thing in what God has given us, our family in Him is not in place of but in addition to our blood family. Though in same cases we have chosen to remove certain members of our blood family for various reasons.

As I said earlier, this is no way means we exclude our blood family. I have a sister-in-law that I love dearly and enjoy seeing, I have an aunt and uncle (who also happen to love Jesus) that have been a huge blessing in my life, my wife has a grandfather who I am thankful for beyond words. Larry (Karina's grandfather) is exactly what you might think of when you think of grandpa. He and his wife live on nice seized property with animals for the kids to play with and he takes them on hay rides and shows them the coolest of things. He served his country in Vietnam and was a police officer with the SPD. He is just a cool guy.

My wife's mother and grandmother on the other hand have nothing to do with us and they never will. They are dangerous people, and we will not allow them around our children. They have worked hard to destroy the lives of their children and they would love to do the same to our kids. They are predators who pose physical, mental and spiritual danger to our family. I also have family members we simply do not associate with because. Was it hard to get rid of them? No, because we weren't getting rid of family we were taking out the trash. We still have plenty of family. God has given us a family in Him that is so much deeper than blood could ever run.

Let me be abundantly clear, blood family is great! Ignoring them and just spending time with Christians is a horrible evil and not at all compatible with Scripture. We are called to love and invest in both. I am simply giving God glory for the blessings He has poured on us in Christ, that we may have family that will last for eternity.

A Fatherless Boy

My least favorite day of the year was always Father's Day. I didn't have a Dad and at my private school we always had to make Father's Day cards. All the other kids had a Dad, most even at home. I didn't have one at all. I had no Dad, no Step-Dad, hell I didn't even have a local uncle until I was 10! When my Aunt married my uncle Renus I finally had a guy to take me to ball games and let me try to hold a motorcycle up by myself but still not a daddy.

I was raised by a well intentioned bipolar single mom who worshiped her little. I was spoiled rotten and had no respect for her or anyone. I was coddled and "protected" from everything so in short what I'm saying is I was a little wuss, a girly boy. I learned how to fight (and run) by getting my ass kicked, I taught myself how to throw a ball, swim and ride a bike. I lacked that male role model in my life to teach me these things but this was normal to me so I never knew.

In the 5th grade I had my first male teacher and he was a great role model he was the guy that taught me to love reading. (To this day he is still my favorite teacher) In addition to this teacher there were a few other men sprinkled throughout my childhood who impacted me in some way but I don't know that any showed me what I means to me a man. I was never a part of a big brothers program or anything and never had any formal mentors.

It wasn't until I was a 15 or 16 and leading a youth group in my apartment complex with my friend Carter that someone finally came around who taught me what it means to be a man. I met a pastor who was getting ready to plant a church and had a passion for training young men. This guy took me under his wing and he did teach me a few trivial (stereotypical) things about being a man and he did take me to at least one baseball game but he also taught me about being a real man. He taught me about loving Jesus and studying Scripture. He told me that I do have a Daddy and taught me to view God as my Father. He spent countless hours discipling me, teaching me Scripture and letting me tag along with him like a little brother or a son going to work with dad. One of the best memories I have was the day this guy let me come on his radio show with him and his co-host.

That Pastor made a huge difference in my life because he loved Jesus and shared that love with me. He understood God as Daddy and taught that lesson, he was not my role model and never wanted to be. He taught me that the best role model I can have is my Heavenly Father. He always pointed me back to Scripture and brought everything back to Daddy God. I'm incredibly thankful to God for giving me someone to introduce me to my Daddy.

I'm a daddy now with four amazing kids. I have three beautiful daughters (and guns to protect them with) and a little boy of my own. I was terrified when my oldest daughter was born I was only 22 and had never been around a baby now I was responsible to keep one alive. Each daughter brought a new set of fears but I got pretty good at knowing how to deal with little girls then my wife got pregnant with our son. I was excited and scared to death!

What is a fatherless boy supposed to do with a boy of his own? Do we start PT in the delivery room? Do I need to get football coaches to come by the hospital and size him up? When do I teach him how to hawk a loogie? My daughters each got a stuffed animal as their first gift, should I get him a bat or a shot gun? I decided to buy him a Bible and just a kids Bible. I bought my baby boy a regular Bible that he can use as an adult and I wrote in the front for him telling him that his earthly father loves him very much but that his real Daddy loves him even more.

I still have never met my earthly father and since he doesn't know I even conceived let alone born I'm sure I never will. I'm still learning about my Heavenly Father and now as a daddy I get to teach me kids about their true Daddy. I may not have dad but I also am not A Fatherless Daddy.