Living the Dream... At Work

I spent years toiling away at a job I hated. Let me be clear, I didn't dislike this job, I didn't find it annoying, I hated it! No, I loathed it. The job itself was fine, my fellow coworkers were great (trauma brings unity) but my boss was horrible. He made Scrooge look like Mickey Mouse. Bob Cratchit at least got Christmas off with pay. If I took Christmas off I had to make it up by working the weekend (both days). This was by far my lest favorite job of all time.

Then there were the jobs with cool bosses and lousy work environments, like HVAC install where I spent my day in crawl spaces. The day I decided I was done was the day I had to lay in a what was once a cat and was now nothing more than a pile of maggots. I had maggots in my nose, ears, clothes and just about anywhere you can imagine. That just sucked! There were of course the jobs that started super early too, those weren't a ton of fun either.

All in all however, I've had a mostly good jobs and good bosses. The only other job I can think of where I just didn't like my boss was one where I worked for a racist, sexist, pompous jerk. I didn't have a lot of interaction with him most days though so it was no big deal. Other than those couple of bad experiences it's been pretty good.

Even in fast food jobs when I was younger I had bosses who trained me, invested in me and promoted me. Working at Arby's was a great experience and I still apply much of what I leaned there. Tully's Coffee was while perpetually running out of money was a good place to work. I had great bosses both when I worked in the stores and when I worked in store development. TERRA Staffing was a company full of amazing people who love to develop leaders. Working there for Barbara Van Meter was great. She was a tough (in a good way) but fair boss who taught me a lot. That whole company from the founder on down was great. Like I said, my life has been pretty good when it comes to jobs.

I'm now in the best "job" of my life. I work fir a small company with a boss that treats me great or what ever synonymy you think is better than great. My company is like a family, we may bicker at times but we all have each other's backs and come together to do some cool things. I came into my role with limited direct experience but I've learned on the job. My boss has always been patient and kind and much more of a coach than a boss.

My job involves looking at and talking about exotic Italian cars all day and planning the world's largest Italian car show. I love everything about what I do. I look forward to coming to work every morning and when I had two weeks off with pay over Christmas, I missed it so much I came in to my office a few times anyway.

While my work has me wearing many hats it's largely a communications job which is new to me but it's exactly where I want to be. Most days work is challenging, I run into obstacles, I have to problem solve, some piece of technology makes me angry or I deal with a difficult person. It's not that my job is easy, it isn't. Easy would drive me nuts, I need a challenge and this "job" provides that. I also need a team and I have that here.

So basically I just used a lot of words to say that I'm super thankful for the job God has given me and I wouldn't leave it for anything. Most of us work to pay our bills and don't get to enjoy it. I get to look forward to coming to my office every day.

Isolation Sounds So Good and Other Lies

Proverbs 18:1 "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; 

he breaks out against all sound judgment."

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of solitude verses isolation lately so reading this verse got my mind going. My ESV Study Bible had a helpful note that said, 

"Prov. 18:1 Whoever isolates himself: translates a Hebrew word that refers to someone who is either reclusive or divisive. Either way, antisocial tendencies seem to be implied."

Being the nerd I am, I decided to look up the word and see what it means. The Hebrew word is "פָּרַד" (Strong's H6504)  (pronounced: pä•rad) and it means to divide or separate. I'm done with the nerdy stuff now and moving onto the why I'm writing this.

I've had an intense desire to be away lately. Many days hiding in a cave sounds like a perfect solution to life. To be clear in these moments I'm not seeking solitude, I'm seeking isolation, I'm seeking myself and myself alone. It's not a desire to go and recharge, it's a desire to run and hide, to quit, to give up. Even writing that makes me want to punch myself in the nose. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE giving up! Yet for some reason lately, I've been willing to give up and hide. 

So why do I want to run away so bad? Because I never do! Over the past few years I've become increasingly poor at taking times of solitude. I fail to do as Jesus did (Luke 5:16) and withdraw from the constant commotion of life and pray. Because I'm not taking healthy breaks my sinful heart desires an unhealthy break. It wants one devoid of community. The truth is I would be miserable without my community!

I live my life trapped in the business of life. I'm in a suburb but it's much more urban than I'd like. My phone pushes my email to me from 4 different accounts and I check it at ever vibration, phantom vibration and random moment I think I'm so important I need to. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram rarely go long without being checked in on and I rarely let calls or texts go unanswered (unless I just want to annoy someone). I need to build in a few hours a week and one day a month to completely unplug, no technology, no chatter, just me, my Bible and Jesus.

This blog was poorly titled because I only addressed one lie but hey I only got a couple hours of sleep. There are plenty of other lies I believe I live out on a daily basis. Keep reading my blog and I'm sure you'll see more. Hopefully as I sleep more the quality of my writing will increase as well. This particular is a pre-coffee, no sleep look at how I really feel. Get some coffee in me and I'll get a bit more clever.  

A House of Girls

Girls, girls, girls! My house is filled with girls. Some of these girls were born my daughters, some were adopted as daughters, some are just family friends and one is my amazing wife (Karina) who they all look up to. So, why do I need to mention all these girls? Well for one, I don’t have much else to talk about, Chaucer (my lone boy) and I roughhouse, sword fight and play baseball in the house (Karina does not approve) but we spend most of our time hanging out with the girls. There are a lot of emotions that I never knew existed that I’m learning about.

So who are all these girls that dominate my life? They (along with Chaucer) are the greatest blessing I have ever received. They bring joy, giggles, smiles, pleasant smell (usually), and a lot of emotion to our home. They teach me a lot about what it means to be a man and they pretty much ensure Chaucer will have his pick of any girl on the planet when he gets older. This kid is going to be a ladies man!

First, there is my wife. She is a bit nuts, well actually she’s completely nuts. I love her for it. She offers wise counsel, great food (especially her mashed potatoes), hugs (against her will), humor and much, much more. My wife is a leader of leaders yet a failed sinner who struggles to see herself as God sees her. She could just quit there and give up but she doesn’t, she uses her struggles to encourage others.

Karina comforts with the truth, she’s not one who offers platitudes or empty words. She does this for me, our family and the women she leads. Her speech is usually seasoned with wisdom, cutting humor and random One Direction references. She is my best friend, my partner (in life and arguing), my favorite person to joke around with and the snarkiest, funniest person I’ve ever met.

Sylvia is the oldest of my daughters. She’s not my daughter by blood and she’s not adopted by law but you can be sure she is 100% my daughter. I love this kid with all my heart. She is beautiful, witty, smart (like really, really smart), a deep thinker and a great conversationalist. When the whole family is together she’s the one you’re most likely to find me talking to. We’ll be talking about theology or debating politics. I cherish these times. I cherish her. Sylvia is extra special to me because she is family by choice and even through difficult season she has remained family.

Sarah is the next oldest. She is also beautiful and incredibly smart, much smarter than me. She’s a talented athlete, the only person who can give Karina a run for her money in the snark and humor department and a joy to be around. I love talking to her about just about anything. I could literally just sit and listen to her tell me about paint drying and be entertained. She is a tremendous blessing to my life and I couldn’t imagine not having her. Like her sister, Sylvia, Sarah is my child by choice.

These two girls, Sylvia and Sarah, are complete equal to my blood children in my heart and standing in our family. When needing differentiate we never say “real” kids and other kids because they are my real kids. We’ll say “blood kids’ and “adopteds” if we need to note the difference somewhere.

Saphyre was my first kid. I spent a few years as a single daddy with her and despite that fact she’s turned out to be an amazing young woman. It’s fun watching her grow and learn and seek Christ. We have a daddy date every Friday and it’s a highlight of week. She is 100% a teenage, from total domination of bathroom time, to spamming everything she can on Instagram to using the word “like” ever other word. I adore her! Beauty, giggles, attitude and fashion make this girl a blast to hang out with.

Olivia is the most like me. She’s got a mean streak a mile long and a heart the size of the sun. She can be cutting with her words and inflict some damage with her fists but she can also be the most loving, kind gentle person you’ll ever meet. We call her the Fabulous Miss O because of her fashion sense and dive attitude. This kid is just overflowing with leadership. Channeled properly she could be a CEO on any company, left unchecked she’ll be a despot somewhere. Either way, she’s a leader.

Abby is crazy! If you want laughs and silliness, Abby is your girl. She makes up the best silly jokes, dances, skits and games. She had constant minor medical issues her life as a result of having Noonas Syndrome (somewhere on the autism spectrum) and she is a trooper about it all. Specialist and specialist and she goes cheerfully and joyfully every single time. She looks hardship in the face and tickles it. She doesn’t march to her own drum she creates her own instrument and marches to that.

Tessa is the baby and she is spoiled. When I get home from work she runs up to me and says, “Daddy M, daddy M”. This is her way of telling me she is now ready for me to give her M&Ms.  This beautiful baby girl has me completely wrapped around her little finger and she knows it. I can’t wait to see her personality as she grows and get to know her as she begins to talk more. When she gets married her poor husband if really going to have to work to please her because she thinks she is a real life princess.

Ashley is another sort of adopted girl in our life. Her place is a bit more ambiguous though but what I know for sure is that place is in our family. I describe her as the kid sister you raise. She’s the one I serve with the most in our community and at church. We are the sports fanatics and the ones crazy enough to work with teens. I love her like a daughter and fight with her like a sibling. We get on each other’s nerves (because we’re a lot alike) but at the end of the day we are family. Grad student, nanny to the rich and famous, mentor to teens, all around cool girl, that’s Ashley!

Finally there is Aly. Aly is a gift from God to our family. She isn't one of our kids at all but she belongs, she completely belongs. All of the girls above and the boy for that matter adore her. They don’t just like her, they adore her! I've never met anyone as good with kids as Aly. She’s sweet, smart, beautiful, full of questions, and genuinely looks for the good in every person and every situation. She is the most positive a real person I know. I absolutely love this girl as does everyone who meets her.  Aly in also unique in that she brings a whole family of amazing people with her. He parents and brothers (yay testosterone!) have all been a huge blessing to my family. Now we just need to get those boys hanging out a bit more.

Well if you made it this far, I’m impressed! This turned out much longer than the two paragraphs I had intended on writing. This is my life, girls, girls, girls. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I often don’t understand half of what they are talking about, why they are crying what I just did that made them all laugh at me but I love it. I have a great life, a better life than anyone I know.   

Why I Love Mars Hill

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog are mine and mine alone. I have not run this by anyone at Mars Hill and I am not writing on behalf of Mars Hill and/or any person associated with Mars Hill. No one at Mars Hill has viewed or approved this text.

I am a member of Mars Hill and I have been for about 13 years. Over the last 13 years I have come to love my church not because it's perfect but because it's my family. It's where I know I'm loved, protected and looked out for. Sure when I first came it was shiny and pretty. Much like my marriage there was a brief point where I was enamored with my church and could find no fault. Those days are long gone in both cases and I now see the imperfections but I don't love less because of them. I see opportunity for growth and I as a Christian see a reflection of myself and my sin. I see an example of constant change and repentance being laid out before me.

I'm under no illusion that my church or any of my pastors are prefect. The truth is my Lead Pastor, Mark Driscoll is a broken sinner. I know this not only because Scripture tells me but also because I've heard him confess his sin, I've heard it regularly and increasingly over the years. I know that the charge against him is that he's a egomaniac, maybe he was at some point but I see humility in him, I see a repentant leader striving for Jesus.

As a result of the teaching I've received at Mars Hill I've learned what it meas to be a man. Not a macho man, a tough guy or a stereotype but a real man. I've listened to countless sermons about being tough and tender as a husband and father. Because of this teaching that I've received I take my daughters on weekly daddy dates and do weekly buddy time with my son. I work hard (and often fail) to speak gently to wife and surprise her with little things that let her know I love her. Having grown up without a dad I never saw any of this and I never would have learned it without my church.

I've been called to a higher standard as a Christian, husband, father, employee (never of Mars Hill), friend and church member. I've been trained, rebuked, discipled and told to disciple. I've heard the Gospel week in and week out. I've seen people, many people meet Jesus and have their lives changed. I've never seen any member of church leadership claim to be perfect. I've met many of the pastors personally including the senior leadership and in those encounters I've always found humble, loving, repentant people who showed genuine care for me. I am not a top giver, I am not a pastor, I am not anyone that would be of any benefit to them, there is no reason to show off for me or make themselves look good to me. They are just real loving men. So loving in fact that one of the Executive Elders gets up every morning at 4:00 AM to pray for the people who attend.

Many people lately seem to want to take shots at what we get wrong yet fail to see (or mention) what God is doing. Again, I'm not saying Mars Hill is perfect. It isn't! I'm not saying Pastor Mark is perfect. He isn't! I'm saying in Matthew 16:18 Jesus was telling Peter that he was the rock on which His church would be built yet by 16:23 Jesus is saying, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." No one is perfect! I don't want perfect, I want real, I want repentant, I want humble. I see all these things at Mars Hill.

My family has been loved well here, taught Scripture, taken care of in times need, spoken to softly, spoken to firmly and called to love Jesus more. I love Mars Hill because the broken sinners that comprise this church love Jesus, love people and love me.