A Fatherless Daddy: 2014

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Ten Years of Marriage: Celebrating Karina

Today it has been ten years since Karina and I had the tackiest wedding in the history of man. Our wedding day is not one that either of us look back on fondly. Fortunately, we have not stayed where we started and our wedding day does not define our marriage. Sorry people who had exceptionally lavish weddings, your wedding doesn't define your marriage either. It is life after the ceremony that matters.

These last ten years have been the hardest of my life. We've struggled and fought hard for the last ten years because our family matters. President Theodore Roosevelt famously said, "Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty." We have had much pain and difficulty over our decade of marriage and every ounce of it is worthwhile.

I thought a lot about what to write and how to honor my wife on our anniversary this year. Since we attach such importance to random numbers, ten is a big deal. Ten things I love about her seems both cliche and underwhelming. Ten memories would have been fun but I'm pretty sure it would have gotten me in trouble.

I decided to highlight my ten favorite blogs by Karina. I'm proud of her writing and I want to honor that. Over the past week, I've gone back a read every single blog she's written and these are my ten favorite in no particular order. Please follow the links and enjoy her writing.

1. Liar - This is a deep and vulnerable look at who Karina is and what she battles. She talks about who she was and who Jesus is making her. She doesn't hold back or try to bake herself look good, she tries to make Jesus look good.

2. Unexpected Grace - Even on days Chaucer leads with his head in the wrong way and jumps headfirst out a window, Karina looks for God's grace and highlights it for all to see.

3. Wait - Karina wrote this blog on one of the hardest and darkest days we've faced. This was the day we learned that Mars Hill would be closing and spinning off all locations as independent churches. God has shown us so much at Mars Hill that it just crushed her and beautifully explained her pain.

4. Thoughts of a Childless Single Karina - There is plenty of humor in this blog and most moms will be able to relate to her thoughts on both sides of motherhood but what I like most of her conclusion, "Really the biggest thing I have learned is that everything is to point me back to Christ".

5. My Psalm - The first time she went through Redemption Groups, Karina wrote this Psalm. It was in this season of small group counseling that Karina's life really began to change and this is what she had to say about it.

6. Aunt & Uncle Day - Jordan and Alicia mean the world to us! They were the first people God sent us as family. My wife, the loving, creative, and thoughtful person she is, decided we needed a special day to honor them. This is the story of the first Aunt and Uncle Day.

7. One Whole Hand - I really like the title of this blog but that's not why I picked it. Karina has a special love for each of our children and I appreciate that about her. Abby is a unique little girl and Karina captures her personality perfectly in this short blog.

8. Sweet Baby Tessie...or Not so Much - Hot Mess Tess is our baby and Karina accurately describes life with Tessa. She is full of beauty, joy, giggles, fun, and trouble... oh so much trouble.

9. My Latest Psalm - This Psalm is now a couple years old but I love how much growth it shows since her first one. You can clearly see Karina's growth in so many areas.

10. Left - This final blog is a painful look at Karina's relationship or lack thereof with her mother and the grace and redemption and has found in Christ. There is so much emotion, loss, grief, hope and joy packed into this little blog. In 677 words she writes an entire book. If you want to understand Karina, read this one.

There are a lot of other ones I wanted to include but it's only been ten years so I'm limited here. I hope you enjoy her writing as much as I do. Please read her blog, follow it and share it with others, She's never admit it but that would really mean a lot to her.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

14 Things I'm Thankful for in 2014

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" Psalm 107:1 ESV

There are countless things I could give thanks to but since it’s 2014 I’ll limit myself to 14. Here are the top 14 things I’m thankful for in no particular order.

1. Jesus – I’m thankful that God loved me so much that He adopted me and picked me to be called His child and sacrificed His own Son that I might live, made pure by His righteous blood.

2. My family – You can read more about my family on my last blog post. They are the greatest earthly gift I’ve ever received. I love these people more than anything. I am so incredibly thankful for the crazy group of people I get to do life with.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity

3. My Church- You can read more about why I’m thankful for Mars Hill here. In short, my life has been forever changed my Mars Hill and though this is the last Thanksgiving that my church will even exist, I’ll forever be thankful for the ways God changed my life.

4. My pastor – God has used Pastor Mark to change my life over the past two decades. I’m thankful for Pastor Mark’s dedication to Jesus, solid theology and preaching the Bible. I dearly love this man and I look forward to one day sitting under his leadership again.

5. Disneyland – I love Disneyland! We take a family vacation there about every 18-24 months and it really is the happiest place on earth.

6. My job – I have my dream job. I look forward to going to work every single day. I get to work with a great group of people at a job that is all about exotic cars. Seriously, I’m the luckiest guy alive!

7. My freedom – I live in the greatest nation on earth. My freedom and the freedom of every American is guaranteed in writing by our government and supported by a pretty bad ass military.

8. Teaching the Bible – I’ve had the honor and privilege of teaching the Bible to teenagers over the past few years and I’m incredibly thankful for that. I learn far more than I ever teach by working with this great group of students and I’ll forever be grateful for this season.

9. My friends – I have a great group of friends. Those closest to me are some of the best people I’ve ever met. I am incredibly undeserving of the people God has put in my life but I sure am thankful.

10. My biological family – We certainly aren’t the closest family in the world but we are also far from the worst. I am thankful that my mother, a single mom, raised me as best she could. I’m thankful for my aunt and uncle who have sacrificed much to try to give me a good life.

Photo courtesy of Renus and ElTora Cabe (Mu aunt and uncle)

11. Sports – This seems trivial but sports matter to me. I enjoy relaxing (or freaking out) over a good athletic competition. Good teams or bad, winning seasons or garbage seasons, it’s a good way to unplug from the real world for a while.

12. My Bible – I have access to the Word of God. Unlimited access, no restrictions, no one will arrest me for it, it’s just there. I love reading my Bible, learning new things from it, teaching from it, sharing the truths it contains, and sometimes just praying through it.

13. Food and clean water – I’m super thankful that I live in a country where I have access to any food I want as well as clean and safe drinking water. There are many in the world without these blessings. I also just enjoy food, I love trying new things, gathering with friends to eat, finding a new restaurant, tacos, bacon, cookie, and well…. I just really like food.

14. The Perrigo family – I wrote about them in my blog on family but they are worth another mention. There is no family on the family that means more to me than them. I’ve never met a family where I have been so incredibly fond of each and every member. My life is truly better for knowing them.

Photo: Courtesy of Alyssa Perrigo

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I'm Thankful for My Family

I’ve been writing blogs all this week on things I’m thankful for. Today, I’m writing about family. I’m very thankful for my family. I hope you enjoy hearing about the people I enjoy most in this world. This blog may not make complete sense to this who do not share my Christian worldview but please read it anyway because I think my family is worth reading about.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity

Before I talk about the amazing people in my family I need to define who my family is and which family I am talking about. I have a biological family, the one I was born into. My biological is important to me as well but I want to talk in this blog about my blood family, the family I have because of the blood of Christ. This is where I’m asking you who are not Christians to hang with me; I promise it won’t get too weird. Give me one or two paragraphs and I’ll get to the pictures of the cute kids.

As a Christian I am a child of God. John chapter 1 talks about God giving those who believe the right to become children of God. John is specific that these are people who did not chose this but were born of the will of God, He picked me and He picked my family.

The family of God is one of adoption. The apostle Paul talks much about this adoption and our being children of God (Ephesians 1:5, Eph. 2:19, Eph. 5:1, Galatians 4:5) and in 1 Timothy 5 Paul continues the narrative of family when speaking of the church. So as I write today, I'm talking about the people God has given me as family in Him.

The picture up top if from a family photo shoot we did a bit earlier this fall. Sylvia and Sarah are not my daughters but my heart sure doesn't know that. I think of them and treat them just like my biological children. They are a tremendous gift to my life and I love them will all my heart. Sylvia challenges me to think of those less fortunate than me and to love the unloved. Sarah inspires me with her wit, snark, intelligence, and drive.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity
Sarah and Sylvia at UW

Saphyre is my 14 year old and she is one of the most enjoyable people I've ever known. People tell me that having a teen daughter is hard work and that I should be scared. They were wrong, dead wrong. I love this girl! We have a ton of fun together. She is smart, funny, silly, teachable, beautiful, addicted to coffee and a pleasure to be around. She even still snuggles her daddy from time to time.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity
This is one of my favorite pictures. I was teasing her and she was striking her best teen pose.

Olivia is 9 and will likely rule the world some day. She is a natural leader and a total daddy's girl. She is brave, confident, and strong. I often joke that Olivia will either be the CEO of a major corporation of a despot dictator. She is generous and kind but she also has a mean streak. She brings unspeakable joy to my life.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity

Abigail faces many challenges in her but does it with smile. She's visited more specialists than I can count and has to try harder than her peers just to keep up in class but she puts in the effort. She is one tough little girl. I love to laugh wit her and hear her silly jokes. She is the idea 7 year old daughter.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity

Chaucer, my son, my only son. This boy has scared me more than I ever thought possible. He leads with his head but not in the way you are thinking... He leads his falls off bunk beds, out windows and into walls with his head. He runs around and plays Avengers all day, he practices protecting the family and he curls up and snuggles his daddy.

Tessa, my baby! I've spoiled this little girl like crazy, She's my baby and she knows how to wrap her daddy around her little finger. Her giggles and squeals are a delightful noise to my heart, not always my ears, but my heart. She is silly and girly and hopelessly addicted to M&Ms.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity

Karina, my wife. She is ties all f the above together. She spends her day managing the above listed personalities and putting up with me and my last minute changes of plan and spontaneity. She loves Jesus, mentors women, speaks truth, loves Scar (the Disney villain) and One Direction (the "band"). I married WAY out of my league and I'm thankful that she was willing to marry a single father and immediately take on the role of mommy almost 10 years ago. I love her very much. I'll stop there because I'll soon be writing a blog dedicated to just her.

Photo Credit: Karina Tinsley

Aly, or Allee as Starbucks calls her. I love this girl dearly. This girl is part of my family for sure. I don't know where exactly she falls but she is one of the biggest blessings I've ever known. She is smart, wise, talented beyond comprehension (at everything), a better friend than anyone deserves and amazing with all kids. In the toughest season of my life she's been a great encouragement. She is beautiful inside and out and I am thankful to know her. She's also the best drive I know.

Photo Credit: Karina Tinsley
We were hiking and though she was injured at the time she joined me on the path less traveled.

Aly's entire family is a huge part of my life and a huge blessing to my family. I don't have a photo of all of them but I'll just tell you about them. Paul, the dad can build anything, he is a bold man yet a kind, gentle and generous man. He works hard and loves his family and mine well. Amy is Paul's wife and though she is still quite young she lets my kids call her Grandma Amy. She loves them and does all sorts of fun things with them. She is also an incredible baker. Her cookies will leave you speechlessness because you'll just keep stuffing your face with them. Jacob is the oldest of their kids and he is a loyal and faithful friend. He dropped everything this summer to take a group top high school guys to a summer camp with me. He suffered a 12 hour bus ride and kept a great attitude. Logan is the baby of their family (he's 14) and like the rest of them he is crazy talented. He's a solid athlete, an actor and a musician. My kids adore Logan and hang on his every word. He is basically a rock star in their minds.

The final member of the Perrigo family isn't a Perrigo at all, she's Amy mom, Mary. Also quite young, Mary allows my kids to call her great-grandma Mary. This sweet woman loves my kids and delights in getting to hang out with them. She is wise and always seeking more knowledge. She is humble and servant minded. She is hospitable and generous. I am so thankful for all of these people.

Jordan and Alicia, these two chose to be my kids aunt and uncle. They, along with their son, Liam, are a constant source of joy to my heart. We don't see each other quite as much as we used to but I really love them. This year since Liam was so young they were unable to join us on vacation and their absence was noticeable. I'm so thankful to call them family.

Ashley is one of my co-leaders in our churches youth group and a dear friend. She's in many ways like a little sister, snotty and snarky, yet loving and loyal all at the same time. I love her and I love getting to do ministry with her. She is great at connecting with teenagers and making the Bible fun for them. She's a talented communicator, athlete and artist.

Photo Credit: Fort Vanity

I have the best people in the world around me. I could go on for hours talking about what all these people mean to me but I'm just going to remind you that these people are a gift from God to my life, shut up, and post a few pictures. In the additional pictures you'll see Reagan and Darbee, who I love dearly, Kadi Dawn who I miss terribly since she moved back to Texas and the man behind the camera, Matt Kennelly who is one of the best men I know.