9 Years

December 4, 2004

Today Karina and I celebrate 9 years of marriage. This is of course that requisite blog post about how wonderful and amazing all 9 years have been... They haven't all been wonderful or amazing. There has been wonder and amazement alright; us wondering why we got married or our amazement that we weren't divorced. Here we are though, 9 years and still married.

The first 4 and a half years of our marriage sucked. There are few and I do mean few highlights. We fought constantly and about everything and of course there was the adultery that was killing our marriage. While my wife never knew about it, I cheated on her with hundreds of women over those first few years. I had a porn addiction and it was killing our marriage. Though she never knew, she could sense that I wasn't hers, not completely, there was something missing. My adulterous addiction to looking at other women, airbrushed, models, that no real women could physically live up to damn near killed our marriage.

Those first few years sucked so bad I hate to even think about them. We lived together and even had a couple of kids during those years but we didn't know each other. I'm sure there is something redeeming from those years, some happy memory I could toss out to make this more fluffy and cuddly but the truth is, for the most part, our marriage sucked. We didn't know each other. We only knew the cleaned up, sanitized, fake ass, lying side of each other.

Once my hidden sin came out and we worked through it things got better. Karina forgave my porn addiction and other lies, serious lies (like my past sexual history), I told her. So now that we've moved past that part of life, everything is great! WRONG! Those years still effect us today and still effect our fights but much less than they used to.

So here we are at year 9. The last 4 and a half years have been better. We've grown, we've learned to be more honest with each other, we've learned to love imperfection. We still fight and at times we still wonder why the hell we married each other. We are however amazed at the grace of God in our lives. He is using this marriage to grow us closer to Him and to each other.

We are two of the most opposite people in the world and that works for us, not really so much at the time usually but when we look back. I like clean, neat, orderly, if I could put the world in a spreadsheet I would. Karina likes... well, not that. In a weird, and seeming unfair twist I however love chaos, I thrive on the crazy, I prefer for there to be a problem to fix. Karina is a normal human being so she does not so much like everything going to shit around her. I'm honestly not sure why I'm so broken in this area. But she loves me because of it, at least that's what I tell myself.

It's these differences and the MANY, MANY others that make out marriage fun. The day we met (June 3, 2004) Karina told me that she wanted a husband who would not love her despite anything but would love her because of it. I can honestly say I love her because of her quirks, the way she randomly slips into accents while speaking or forgets a word in her sentence so she just adds it at the end which confuses me to no end.
I love her desire to lead other women and her willingness to be honest and share the horrors and joys of our marriage. I love that she loves people... well the people she chooses to love at least. I love that when people hug her she freaks out and doesn't know what to do. I love that Karina ordering food is often an epic, humorous and confusing process that usually results in odd looks from the cashier. I love that butterflies terrify her. I love her.

Our marriage is still not great and in another 4 and a half years I hope I look back on these years as "the rough years". we have a lot of growing to do both personally and together. We still need to figure out how a neat freak and a pile maker are supposed to live in the same house together. I still need to atone for booking our honeymoon at a place called the Penny Sleeper Inn. Yes, I really did that. So while this hasn't been the typical happy go lucky blog about what a perfect marriage we have it has been honest.

Karina appears in my phone contacts as "Love Of My Life" and she is. The vow we took was for better or for worse and we intend to see it through. I love her not despite our problems but because God has called me to, I want to and well, how could you not love her, she's pretty darn lovable.

Thanksgiving 2013

I have much to be thankful for. This list is in no particular order and is not all inclusive, in fact it's only a small portion of the many blessings in my life.

1. My God who have paid the ultimate price and made a sacrifice beyond what I can comprehend so that I may know Him.
2. Almost 9 years of marriage to my beautiful wife.
   
3. Family
   
   
   
   
4. My kids
   
5. My church
   
6. Books
7. Pastors who love me
8. I live in the USA and therefore am among the wealthiest people in the world.
9. Walt Disney and all he contributed to the world.
1. Disneyland
2. Mickey Mouse
3. The Disney Company
   
   
   
   
10. The City of Boston
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
11.  The World Series Champion Boston Red Sox
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
12. The Seattle Seahawks
13. Food
14. The privilege of working with teenagers
15. Social media which allows me to keep connected to people I love and care about and reconnect with old friends.
16. Getting to drive across the country with my friend Justin Schaeffer as he prepares to plant a church in Atlanta
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
17. My friend Scott Mitchell and the church he just planted in Texas. (That's what she said)
18. A job that is awesome and involves looking at and talking about cool cars all day.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

19. The Christmas season

20. Delicious beverages...

Boston

Flag at Rowes Wharf

This blog is more for me than anything. I love Boston, it's my favorite city and after the events of today I just need to get some thoughts off my mind. If you are so inclined, read on and see my ramblings on Boston.

Anyone who knows me knows I love Boston. I love the city, the culture, the people, the food and of course the Red Sox. The events of today grieve me for the city that I love. I’m clear across the country but my heart is, as it is many days, in Boston. As soon as I got to work this morning I opened my MLB app and listened to the Red Sox game as I worked. After the win I switched to the WEEI (Boston sports talk) for the post-game show. I was only partially listening as I was working on a new ad I need to get out. It was a while before I realized there were talking about a breaking tragedy. Once I realized what happened I was pissed. I've never lived in Boston but it is my city. It felt like a sucker punch to the gut.               

                                                                   

It's hard to see but this is the 2012 Boston Marathon winner just past the finish line.

As I watched the video of the blast going off at the finish line I noticed a couple of things that impressed me. Right away many people rushed to toward the blast site and began doing anything they could to help those who were injured. In the face of tragedy, Bostonians stepped up. I also noticed a well organized response and that the majority of people stayed calm and got to work

As my heart aches for Boston I'm confident in this, Jesus heart also breaks over this senseless tragedy. I pray that Jesus comforts this town. I pray the Holy Spirit moves in this city and that what was intended for evil is used for God's glory. 

Last year at this time I was in Boston standing in 90 degree heat at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. It was a beautiful day. While I was last there I visited City on a Hill Church. I'm confident that Pastor Bland Mason and his team will be at the forefront of helping Boston heal. Here are some pictures of my trip a year ago. 

Good Friday

“And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.” Mark 15:38

This is one of my favorite verses in all of Scripture. The curtain was a huge elaborate veil that separated two important parts of the Jewish temple. (Exodus 26:31-35) There was the Holy Place where the priests went fairly often to preform rituals required by Jewish law. On the other side of this curtain was the Most Holy Place, This place was sacred, this was where the Spirit of God dwelled. Only the high priest could enter this area and even he could only enter once a year and only after a sacrifice was made to atone for his sin and the unintentional sins of the people. Failure to abide by strict guidelines in entering this area resulted in God striking you dead. (Hebrews 9:1-7)Exodus 25-30 also gives lots of details on the layout of the whole thing.

As the curtain was torn from top (God) to bottom (us) His Spirit was poured out on the earth. Don’t miss the symbolism here! The tear started at the top and ran to the bottom. God initiated a relationship with us. It was Him reaching down and redeeming His people.

This account of the curtain being torn in two can also be found in Matthew 27:51 and Luke 23:45. Why does it matter? Why do I care so much about this seemingly small part of Good Friday? The curtain being torn in two and the separation between God and man being destroyed is the crux of Christianity. It is this point that changes everything. Because of this moment, I, a lowly gentile have access to the Eternal God. I now have access to the Most Holy Place (Hebrews 6:19-20)

Hebrews 10:19-22 says that I can enter these holy places because Jesus is now the High Priest and His body is the curtain. He is my access. He is my atonement.

As I celebrate this weekend that is central to my faith, in fact it is the reason for my faith; I never want to forget the depth of meaning of Jesus' sacrifice. The abuse He suffered was unfathomable. (John 19) His focus and the Father and submission to His will was unbelievable. (Luke 22:42) His love was unmatched. (John 15:13) His gift was reuniting lost children with their Father. In Christ and in Christ alone my hope is found. He alone has saved me from my sin and reconciled me to my God.